I've Got To Have You
by Brazendale
Summary: Set at the end of season four,Sookie has choosen neither Bill nor Eric leaving Bill to carry on his existence as best he can however the escape of Russell Edginton changes everything. Will he be able to protect Sookie even if it means loosing the chance of regaining her love or will his plans for protection finally push her away from him forever.
1. Chapter 1

I've Got To Have You

Bill, wrestling with life after Sookies decision, is forced to take an action that may finally end any chance of a future relationship with her.

As always my kudos go to AB, HBO and Charlaine Harris.

Incidental characters are of my own vivid warped imagination.

Author's note: although some of the events mentioned relate to actual occurrences on the show, the story does not necessarily correspond with how I see the final ending of the series. This is merely a short story to amuse only, a 'what if' scenario.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1

It had been weeks since Bill had seen Sookie to speak to, not since the night that she had told both Eric and himself that she could not choose between them so she was going it on her own. Bill understood her reasons and unlike Eric, Bill accepted it and respected her for her decision but it didn't mean that he liked it. He didn't and it hurt.

He was a realist though and he knew that if there was any faint hope at all of resurrecting their relationship any time in the future then this was the only way, he had to let her go to make her own decisions and learn her own truths. He sighed to himself as he thought about how their life and love had evolved, the choices he had made willingly and unwillingly, and what might have been had things been different.

But things weren't different and nothing was going to change that. He loved her and always would, regardless of all the obstacles that ever came between them. Nothing would make his love waver and nothing would change the fact that to Bill, if you love someone, really deeply love someone then you sacrifice every piece of your soul for that person's happiness and safety, even your heart if that is what it takes.

Isn't that what he had done, he asked himself. Didn't he put himself in danger countless times, risk his very vampirism, his beliefs even, not to mention his heart and happiness but all to no avail. It was no good Bill thought, only time would tell if she would ever come back and right now that was not looking very likely.

He didn't often get the chance for quiet contemplation these days as he was too busy in damage control after the Nan Flannigan debacle. He and Eric had come under extreme suspicion after Nan's disappearance and so far Bill had succeeded in covering things up as much as he could.

He had the most loyal subjects in all the United States. He was respected on so many levels within his community for the tireless work and the brilliant PR he had done in the many interviews he had given on behalf of his subjects and the Vampire community in general.

The respect he had from his subjects was also a reflection of his actions to save so many from Marnie's spell. Had it not been for the warning that he had sent out and the order to chain themselves, countless Vampires would have met the sun under the spell that she had cast and consequently, he had a devoted following and that was something that he was reaping the rewards for. Countless numbers had come forward to offer alibis for Bill when it became known through the Authorities investigation into Nan's disappearance, that Bill was a suspect. The same can't be said of Eric's meagre followers however.

It was rather ironical that Eric of all people was in Bill's debt. After all, Eric had been his rival for Sookie and his attempts to break up their relationship had ultimately taken its toll and caused Bill so much pain. Yet now here he was with Eric's safety depending on how well he could protect both himself and his sheriff, a point not totally lost on either of them.

Of course, that Bill had chosen not to end Eric's life when he could have, leaving the way open for Sookie to go to Eric, just added salt to the wound as far as Eric would be concerned. Eric owed Bill and he resented it. Even now after the split up between the three of them, Bill knew that Eric still saw him as a threat where Sookie was concerned.

As far as the subject of Sookie went, neither were inclined to discuss it and for once, Eric did not offer his usual jibes of sarcasm at Bill's expense. It was too much to hope for that Eric had turned over a new leaf Bill thought, but still it was a welcome respite from the ongoing jibes Bill had put up with over the years and also, as Bill had other more pressing issues to deal with, his or Eric's hurts did not have priority at this point in time.

He was sitting in his office at the end of a very long night, reflecting on all of this when one of his security officers knocked quietly on the door. Bill had ramped up his security over the past months, taking great care to hand pick a team that would be loyal to him and at the same time offer prime protection.

From amongst the many recruits that Bill had interviewed he selected only those that he found to be Vampire sympathisers and he was more than happy with the team he had working for him now, their loyalty unquestionable. One person in particular had stood out from the rest. His name was Neville Smythe and he was ex SAS, trained to the back teeth with a military record that was exceptional having served as a sergeant on active duty in both Iraq and Afghanistan.

Bill had quickly realised that Neville would make a very suitable replacement as head of his security and Bill had come to rely more and more in Neville's experience to provide protection and to some degree, a friendship of sorts had developed. It was Neville that was knocking at the door now, waiting respectfully for admittance.

'Come in' Bill called, as Neville came in bowing slightly. 'Majesty, there is someone here to see you' he wrapped out in his military manner as though addressing a commanding officer, his thick British accent noticeable. Bill raised his eyebrows as he glanced at the time on his computer. It was around four am and unusual to receive anyone at this time of the morning. 'Did you get a name Neville' Bill asked on the alert now. 'Sir, he gave his name as Alcide Hervereux' Neville replied, pronouncing the name with a deliberately poor attempt at French, giving Bill the impression that Neville was not impressed with the either the tall Supe or the French language but Bill was unsure which. 'Show him in and Neville, make sure to stay within calling distance.'

Bill had not shown any outward surprise when he was told of his visitor but he was curious as to why Alcide would be calling on him and why now. He knew that the Supe was no particular fan of his and being a Were, had no love of Vampires, so he was interested to see what exactly he wanted. He knew that it must be important to bring him out here at this time in the morning all the way from Shreveport.

Bill had no interest in Were business, they were more inclined to cater to a different section of the general population with their businesses, being drawn to bikie gangs and red neck bars, their patrons including motorcycle clubs and that ilk. The long held dislike between Vampires and Weres was well known within the Supe community and had been for a long time, they mixed as little as possible and then only under extreme circumstances normally.

The fact that Alcide had done work with Eric was unusual and purely a result of his Father's connections rather than his own choice. Bill also knew that after Jackson and the Russell Edgington episode, Alcide had further reasons to dislike Vampires but had made it clear that his involvement with the disposal of Russell was the way to end any debts owed and wipe the slate clean. There was also the matter of Sookie standing between Alcide, Bill and Eric.

All this flashed through Bill's mind as he waited for Neville to show Alcide in. 'Compton' Alcide gave a curt nod of acknowledgement before sitting in the chair Bill indicated. 'What can I do for you Alcide, what is so urgent to bring you out here at this time of the day?' Bill asked in a cool tone.

'It's about Sookie' Alcide said looking at Bill for a reaction. Despite Bill's mask of indifference Alcide noticed a slight flinch at her name, he knew their history, and he had been witness to their impossible reunion in Jackson and the events that went down at Fangtasia with Russell, Eric and Bill. 'What about Sookie?' Bill questioned regaining his composure quickly. 'Bill, she in danger, if I didn't think that it was serious I would not be here. I told Northman weeks ago but he doesn't seem to have taken any action.'

Bill's surprise at this last piece of information did not go unnoticed with Alcide and knowing enough about Vampire hierarchy he realised as King, Bill would be within his rights to question his sheriff about this. Alcide did not have any remorse for causing any kind of trouble for Eric, he had very little respect for the Viking and barely tolerated him. If it had not been for his Father's previous involvement he doubted very much that he would ever have lifted a finger to assist any of the Vampires in anyway but things were different when it came to Sookie and at least he had a grudging respect of sorts for Bill.

Also there was the fact that since he had been made Packmaster of the Shreveport area, he understood a little more of Bill's predicament when it came to the welfare of his pack. Alcide was aware of the steps Bill had implemented to keep his Vampires from the dangers of Marnie's spell and admired his tireless work towards the acceptance of his kind into society. He appreciated any inroads that Bill made would help when the time came for Weres to come out too.

'Alcide do you want to explain exactly what you are talking about' Bill asked trying to keep himself sounding calm when he certainly wasn't feeling it. Alcide seemed surprised, he just assumed that Bill would know of Russell Edgingtons escape and the risk that posed to Sookie and he said as much to Bill.

If Bill knew he was not giving any indication, in fact he seemed to be wearing a blank mask of indifference Alcide thought. Perhaps he had been wrong to come to him but even though he knew that both Bill and Eric were no longer part of Sookie's life, she had told Alcide this herself when they had gone on their first proper date together some weeks before, still Alcide had assumed that Bill would still care even just a little for her welfare.

'Has Sookie been threatened directly?' Bill asked 'and how do you know of this?' Alcide looked a little uncomfortable now, he was not sure if he was reading the situation right. Vampires he knew, could be a blank canvass, holding their emotions close to their chest as it were and so he really did not know if Bill really was indifferent to Sookie now that they weren't together or if Bill was just a bloody good actor. Still, that didn't matter too much, he felt that Sookie needed protection and although he had the Were pack at his disposal, when it came to messing with Vampires and in particular with an ex Royal Vampire of Russell's age and power, Alcide knew that he was out of his league. Besides, it would not have been proper to put his pack in jeopardy for the sake of Sookie regardless of how he felt for her.

So biting the bullet he explained to Bill that he had been dating her for a short while now and he had become aware that lately she has been followed. He had made attempts to catch whoever it was but they moved so fast that it didn't take long for him to realise that it must be a Vampire. Unknown to Sookie, he had arranged to have her place watched by Weres but as he explained he knew that would be of little use if it got down to a Were vs. Russell confrontation. Plus, he did not consider putting his pack members in the line of fire over a personal matter to be ethical.

Bill understood Alcide and grudgingly admired him for his stance. In a lot of ways, he and Alcide had a lot in common and not just their care for Sookie's welfare. Both had a strong sense of moral obligation to those of their community they had responsibility for and likewise had strong ethics when it came to keeping their personal life separate.

That Alcide was now going out with Sookie was news that he did not want to hear but he could do nothing about it and it didn't really surprise him in the least. Bill sighed quietly, Sookie was in danger and again because of Vampires. Was there no end to the trouble he had bought upon her he thought.

'I need all the particulars, times, dates, locations. Does Sookie have any idea herself this is going on?' Bill questioned. 'No, you know how headstrong and independent she is, I haven't told her in case she is likely to take matters into her own hands. She has told me that she wants to be her own woman, to be independent and not have to answer to others, to make decisions for herself and I can respect that but in this situation it's more than she can handled and quite frankly I am worried for her.'

Bill sat lost in thought for a few moments before he looked at Alcide. 'What do you want me to do about it?' 'Look Bill, I know that you and Sookie aren't together anymore and haven't been for quite a while but I know that you cared very deeply for her, whether she likes it or not, right now you are about the only one that I think can help her out, protect her. Go and talk to her, you are the only one that she might listen to.'

Bill opened his mouth to reply to this but thought better of it. 'She's not working tonight and I know that she will be home. Call on her and try to get her to accept protection.' Alcide suggested. 'Alcide one other thing, just when did you tell Eric and why Eric, why didn't you come straight to me?' Bill asked as casually as he could.

Alcide looked Bill straight in the eyes 'It was weeks ago and I went to Eric because I was under the impression at the time that Sookie and Eric had fairly recently been a couple and I thought that he would care. She has told me now that you have all gone your separate ways but at the time I didn't know that Eric would sit back and do nothing. And I only found out about Edgington when one of the security guards at the building alerted me. As soon as I knew I went to the Viking. I have to tell you Bill, he didn't seem overly surprised for what it's worth but you would know more about him and what motivates him than I do. I do not trust him.' 'And you trust me?' Bill asked a little surprised. 'When it comes to Sookie's safety yes, yes I do trust you' he replied.

Alcide left soon after this and although Bill could feel the pull of dawn he called Neville into his office and gave instructions to be carried out immediately. Whether Sookie liked it or not he was going to arrange protection for her immediately. It would be discreet, so discreet in fact that she would not even be aware of it but as far as Bill was concerned, it would give him some peace of mind.

He went to ground eventually satisfied that he had done what he could to at least protect her during daylight hours. Although he was not expecting an attack to occur during the day, he knew that Russell was ruthless and since he had her blood and knew what it could do, then Russell would do anything possible to get to her.  
When Bill rose the next evening he had formed a plan of sorts. He knew that this was not going to be easy and would more than likely put an end to any remote chance of resurrecting their relationship. He knew that he had to talk to her and convince her to accept Vampire protection, the very thing that she would hate.

Before leaving he made a phone call summoning Eric to him. Pam had answered the phone, no longer her snarky self she immediately passed the phone to Eric. Pam had suffered as much as Bill from Eric's relationship with Sookie. Eric's treatment of her had cut her to the quick. Pam would be the last to admit that she had any human feelings left within her but the anguish she had experienced over what she saw as Eric's betrayal, favouring Sookie over herself, were very human and un-vampire like emotions.

Pam also had a grudging respect for Bill and this surprised both her and Bill. It was a totally unexpected turn of events but she gave Bill his dues, he had saved her and Eric and a lot of others from the true death, impressed her with his maker - progeny relationship with Jessica and she envied his loyalty to Sookie even in the face of her love for Eric at the time. It had caused her to doubt whether she had been too hard on Bill all these years and so she tempered her behaviour accordingly now when dealing with him.

Bill did not have to wait long for Eric to appear, Neville showing him in upon his arrival. 'Majesty' Eric walked over to the desk where Bill was seated, nodding his greeting to Bill. 'When were you going to tell me Eric?' Bill questioned. Eric seemed taken aback. 'Tell you what?' Eric said attempting to buy himself more time as he knew immediately to what Bill was referring to. Bill sat silently boring holes into Eric's face, it was a battle of wills and in the past there were times that it would have been Bill that would be the first to reluctantly break to keep the peace but not now, things had changed.

Eric looked at the floor then looked up again straight into Bill's eyes. 'I had no positive proof' Eric said by way of an excuse. 'When were you going to tell me Eric, when it was too late or when you thought you had won Sookie back? That's what this was all about wasn't it? You thought that if you protected her from Russell you could win her back so you didn't tell me. You thought that she would be so grateful to you. Eric you don't know Sookie very well if that was what you thought.' Bill said looking at Eric with sympathy in his eyes.

Eric really had no idea of what made Sookie tick if he really thought that she would go back to him for doing the very thing that she didn't want, he didn't understand her at all. Bill knew that Sookie was simply going to hate his offer of protection, he knew her so well that just the thought of having to talk to her tonight about the situation was abhorrent to him. He felt sorry for Eric, he had not learnt anything about Sookie, he had no understanding of who she really was and what she really needed in her life. To rob her of her independence was the very thing that Sookie had hated and had been the cause of so much angst in their relationship.

'Do you have any proof now?' Bill asked. Eric did not hesitate 'I know that Russell has escaped but that is as much as I know. I have not been able to learn anything further. If I had…' he looked at Bill again 'if I had I would tell you, there is no point hiding the truth from you now' he finished. 'Go' Bill dismissed him 'and Eric, I do understand what you are going through.' Eric had reached the door as Bill had said this but turned to look back at Bill, seeing the compassion in his eyes. 'Yes Bill, I can see that you do' he said thoughtfully 'it hurts' and turning he was gone.

Bill sat for a few more minutes, he was willing himself to do this, and he knew that he had to go to Sookie but he was reluctant. Opening his locked desk draw he drew out a photo he had kept in a small ornate frame. It was the only photo he had of the two of them together. It was a random snap that Maxine Fortenberry had taken the night of the Meeting of the Descendants of the Glorious Dead. She had given it to him in an act of kindness when Sookie had disappeared and it had touched Bill. Maxine may not have been happy about Hoyt's relationship with Jessica at the time but she still found Bill to be glamorous.

Adele Stackhouse stood next to Bill as he stood talking to Sookie just before she had left on her date with Sam. He had loved the look on her face, he had always remembered how she looked at him with a newly found touch of respect for him or so he had felt, she had looked proud of his talk and his recount of his humanity, it was a side of him that she had not known until that night. His talk had been touching and had won over a lot of the town's inhabitants with his account of his war experiences and of his last family remembrances.

He shrugged to himself as he sat there and gently stroked her face in the picture, he had felt that night had been a turning point in their relationship and he treasured it. This however was not getting him anywhere right now and was only delaying things. Locking the photo in the draw, he could no longer put off the inevitable. He left to go to Sookie.

To Be Continued …..


	2. Chapter 2

I've Got To Have You

Putting it if no longer, Bill goes to visit Sookie but an unexpected turn of events changes everything for them both.

My thanks to the creative genius of Alan Ball, HBO and Charlaine Harris for giving us the characters we love so much.

Chapter 2

Bill waved away his security as he walked through his garden to the path that had been so well worn in the past, the path that led to the gate into the cemetery then on to Sookie's home. He could not help himself as he paused on the lawn, remembering that very first time that he had stood there with Sookie in the moonlight. He could still see her hair like a halo of silver shimmering around her face in the moonlight, her innocence and beauty that night like a cloak of loveliness enveloping her.

'Take your clip out' he had said and he could smell her hair again. 'I can smell the sunlight on your skin' he had said and he could smell her tanned skin. He could taste her lips on his as she held his head to her face and kissed him. At the memory of her lips Bill let out a small inward groan. He shook his head, squared his shoulders and walked on.

He was half way through the cemetery when he was suddenly over come by an overwhelming feeling of fear. Stopping in his tracks, he stood still trying to evaluate where this feeling was coming from.

As he stood there large spots of rain began to fall. Within seconds a heavy downpour had him soaked to the skin but still he hadn't moved. Just as suddenly, he was aware of what was pulling him, Sookie was in trouble, he could feel her and he knew he had to find her.

Despite the rain streaming down, Bill moved at Vampire speed in the direction he felt her fear coming from. He was nearer her house now but not at her house, somewhere off to the back of her property over in the woods that boarded the Stackhouse place and a small back road, no more than a track really that meandered past the back of property not particularly going anywhere, it ended in a dead end.

As he neared where he could pick up the strongest feelings coming from, he stopped to listen, his hearing picking up muffled voices in the distance. Moving noiselessly, he crept through the undergrowth, not willing to show himself until he had determined what he was up against. Listening, he made out what sounded like two humans talking softly while carrying a body, the body being a bound and gagged Sookie.

Bill saw red. With a flash he snapped, the darkness over taking his senses. All he knew was that Sookie was in danger and these two were responsible. Before they knew what had hit them, the two of them were knocked out and Bill was untying Sookie who was lying motionless on the ground where they had roughly dropped her.

As Bill untied her he was still wary, he could sense that somewhere close by there was another presence and it was not human, so as soon as he had Sookie untied he picked her up and moved with Vampire speed. Instead of going back in the direction of his home he made his way deeper into the woods, taking a back trail that had existed since he was a young child and would now be unknown to others, overgrown and impassable in places to others, Bill forced his way through with little concern.

Bill had grown up fishing and swimming in the local water holes, playing in the woods and exploring the lay of the land for miles around. He had played at hide and seek in these woods with his school chums, built rafts and canoes to explore the bayous and water holes, pretending to be pirates or fur trappers and had forged trails playing at explorers.

The land around here had not changed that much in all these years as there were still pockets that were part of the wilderness, set aside as uninhabitable. It was to one of these areas miles to the west of Bon Temps that Bill fled carrying the still unconscious Sookie. Unknown to all but Neville, he had a light tight secure cabin in the back woods in the midst of a series of bayous that, should any fisherman or camper come across by chance, they would be totally unaware of the elaborately secured interior by just looking at the ramshackle structure of the cabin.

Taking out the keys he always carried with him, he let himself in. Sookie was soaked to the skin and so was he. She had not regained consciousness and Bill was alarmed. Still holding her in his arms, with one hand he quickly pulled at the mattress on a make shift cot that was installed for appearances sakes and laid it on the floor in front of the fire, gently laying Sookie on it. Quickly going over to the well set fire place he set light to the fire then turned his attention back to Sookie.

She was chilled to the bone and Bill knew that he had to get her out of her wet clothes and get her warmed as quickly as possible. He was not worried about being in danger as he was sure he had not been followed, his only concern at the moment was for Sookies health.

As he got her out of her wet clothes he examined her body for injuries. Apart from a dark bruise on the side of her head he could find nothing else. He wrapped her in the rug from the bed and as the fire crackled into life and began to throw out some heat, he left her for a moment while he hunted through the cupboards in the small kitchen area for something that he could give her. He had given instructions to keep the property well maintained in case of emergencies so this would put Neville to the test.

He found what he was looking for in a bottle of brandy and a glass and thanked his wisdom for making sure he had competent staff. Quickly undressing himself so he wouldn't be wet when he climbed under the covers with Sookie, he slid in next to her. Gently lifting her he cradled her into a sitting position.

'Sookie' he called her softly as he held her, 'Sookie' he said again rubbing her hands and body to warm her. 'Sookie' he called her again kissing her hair, her face 'come back to me my love' he was whispering. He rocked her as though trying to will her back to consciousness. 'Oh Sookie my love, don't leave me' tears streaked his face now as he held her to him.

Outside the storms fury had increased. The wind was like a howling gale and although Bill had his cell phone with him, there was no reception. He knew that even if there was and he made a call, there would be little likelihood of anyone other than a Vampire making it through this storm. Even that would propose dangers as a tree branch blowing down was no different to a stake and could do just as much damage. No, Bill realised, he was on his own.

Just as Bill was contemplating leaving her on her own, weighing up the risks in trying to go for help himself, Sookie groaned softly and stirred a little in his arms. 'Sookie… Sookie' he whispered again to her. 'Bill' she mumbled attempting to open her eyes. 'Shhh, shhh it's alright, I am here' he cradled her closely to his chest as he reached over to the glass of brandy he had left on the hearth to warm by the fire. 'Bill is that you' she was barely audible.

Sitting her up a little he held the glass to her lips so she could sip it. 'Here drink this' he urged her. Like an ill child she took a sip then spluttered a little, pulling a face as the strong liquor sent a burning trail down her throat but as she was too weak to push it away and at Bill's urging, she sipped again, the next mouthful going down a little smoother. He managed to get a fair amount into her before she pushed it away.

The fiery liquid warmed her and she began to show a bit more life to Bill's enormous relief. Struggling a little she managed to open her eyes a little wider now, looking around her dazed. 'Bill….Bill where are we? What happened?' She still sounded weak but Bill was relieved that she was conscious at least. 'Bill, why are you here?' she asked groggily as she closed her eyes again. Bill suspected she was concussed and knew that falling asleep could be dangerous 'Sookie darling, don't go to sleep again. Open your eyes Sookie, you need to stay awake' he urged her.

She was like a rag doll in his arms. Her eyes were so heavy and she was so sleepy, she was warm now and felt so comfortable lying there cradled against Bill's chest, his strong cool arms wrapt around her. 'Sookie honey, come on open your eyes for me now' Bill gently urged her again. With much effort, at the sound of his insistent voice Sookie opened her eyes again to look up into Bill's eyes.

'Bill, I was dreaming I was with you. It felt so good' Sookie smiled a little just like a contented child feeling safe in the arms of a loving parent before closing her eyes again. Suddenly Sookie opened her eyes wide and looked at him with surprise, blushing deeply.

'Bill, you haven't got any clothes on' she said startled. 'Neither have you Sookie' he said 'we were wringing wet and I had to get you dried off and warm.' The brandy combined with the knock to her head when her attackers had made their move had taken its toll and she was feeling light headed and giddy.

'Sookie can you tell me what happened to you, do you remember anything?' Bill asked her quietly, stroking her back soothing her like he would with Thomas or Sarah when ill. Sookie's face screwed up in concentration before slowly she recalled to Bill the events that had lead to her capture. 'I was taking out the trash, I remember that I had just sorted all the recyclables when I thought I saw something moving over in the trees near the garden shed. That's all I can remember' she managed to get out before her eyes once again closed sleepily.

Alcide was right, Sookie must have been under watch for some time, Bill thought, studying her habits and waiting for an opportunity to take her. That Russell was behind this he had no doubts. It was a very clever ploy to use humans in this, Russell had obviously learnt a lot from the fall out after his melt down on national TV.

Although he wouldn't care at all about the sensation he had caused, Russell Edgington was no fool. He would be more cautious for his own sake as the human authorities were on the alert for any more such examples of Vampire extremism. Yes, Bill thought, Russell had laid his plans well and of course, what else would he have had to think about when lying buried under the concrete for month after month since Bill and Eric had buried him.

It was pure luck that Alcide had been to see him when he did. Had it been one more day and things would have turned out very differently. Bill shuddered at the thought of what may have become of Sookie if Russell was ever successful in capturing her. What were Russell's plans for her, to keep her like a milking cow, draining her to the point of turning every time he wanted to go out in the sunlight? His own personal chattel to be treated like a precious exotic bird in a cage for his own personal use until old age took her or god forbid he used her in some diabolical breeding program, attempting to start a tribe of Faes for his own personal use.

Bill sat horrified at the very thought of all the possibilities that could befall Sookie. Hadn't this been the very fears he had for her when under Queen Sophie Anne's rule? It was history repeating it's self as far as Sookie's future was concerned. For as long as she lived and Vampires existed, Sookie would always be under this threat of attack should her Fae blood line become known. He wanted to protect her but that was the last thing that she wanted, she wanted her independence but it was that very independence that would mean she was vulnerable, tonight was the proof of that Bill sighed.

It wasn't just Russell or other vampires in general that Bill feared either, there was always a threat much closer to home. As much as Sookie had told Eric of her choice, Bill knew Eric and he knew that he was not one to take defeat lying down. Hadn't he proved that by the very fact that he had not alerted him to the danger that he knew Russell's escape would propose to Sookie?

Bill doubted if Eric would ever give up on his relentless pursuit of Sookie and he also knew something that he felt Sookie did not fully realise; no matter what Eric had been like under Marnie's spell, that was not the real Eric that she loved, Eric was Vampire and Viking, that would never change.

This had nothing to do with Bill's personal feelings either, he loved Sookie too much to hold her back from finding the happiness that she deserved even if that meant he had to let her go. He had already accepted this as painful as it was, if he hadn't he would not have spared Eric when he had the chance to eliminate him once and for all, but that would not have won her love back once it was lost. Bill sighed as he thought back over things, sadness creeping through him like a poison.

And now, here he was with the love of his life once again in his arms and in danger. The guilt and shame of her predicament resting solely on his shoulders he felt. If they had never met, never come to know each other and love each other. If their passion and love had been different, had been able to withstand the hideous circumstances that they had faced…if, if only. Would there ever be any chance for them again, had there ever really been any chance for them? He had thought that with time there may be some hope but life plays strange tricks on you. Life is what happens when you are too busy making plans, as the saying goes.

He kissed the top of her head again as he held her to him. If this was to be their final parting he wanted to embed the memory in his brain like a photo he could take out and look at when he needed to.

As though responding to something within him flowing through her, Sookie opened her eyes again, staring directly into his eyes for a moment. To Bill it was a life time. Tilting her head she searched for his lips, cupping his face as she held him.

Bill trembled at the touch of her hands.

To Be Continued ...


	3. Chapter 3

I've Got To Have You

In a cabin in the woods, Bill and Sookie find each other again. Have they found their way back to each other or is it only a temporary reprieve?

My kudos go to Alan Ball, HBO and Charlaine Harris as usual.

Chapter 3

Bill was trembling as he brushed her lips tenderly with just the barest touch. Opening his eyes he looked at her. Sookie looked into his eyes and found herself lost again as she always had been, right from the very first moment he had walked into her life. He recognised the want she shared for him as much as he felt for her, the regret, the hurt, the passion and the love. It was enough. He knew without any spoken words, she wanted him as much as he wanted her. 'I've got to have you' lay unspoken between them.

Laying her down gently, he searched for her lips again, Sookie meeting his with the same tender response. They lay like this for moments, years ... each brush of their lips like a thousand life times, each touch an explosion of emotions overwhelming every sense.

This was no carnal meeting of desires, it was above that, deeper and more profound. This was a conquering of something bigger than either of them had any control over. It was something both knew to be inevitable and knew in their very souls to be the truth.

She lay looking up at Bill, suddenly she had an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu as though she had been here before, experienced this before. Then just as suddenly she realised it was how she felt the first night she had given herself to Bill, to her first. She felt like a virgin again, that is how he made her feel looking down at her, his eyes showing the promise of his want for her happiness, the promise of his undying love.

Bill felt the emotions Sookie was feeling flooding through him. Nothing else existed, no before, no future, just this moment and the trust in her eyes. It was enough. Without speaking a word their lips crushed each other's, tongues exploring with a new found passion, touching each others bodies, feeling each others needs so familiar yet now renewed.

The feel of the soft feathery down of Bill's chest or Sookie's silk like hair, now a new sensation to each of them as though reborn in a world with unexplored sensations. It did not matter to either that they had shared them selves with others for nothing would ever be the same as now, in each others arms.

Bill gently trailed kisses from her mouth down her throat, lingering on her pulsing artery for only one moment before trailing down to her breast, first gently suckling on one nipple then moving to the next until each were hard and she was moaning softly as a mewing kitten. He then continued to lightly kiss her as he trailed down to her mound, drinking in her sweetness, her moans rippling through him making his arousal throb with the need to be in her.

Reaching down to his silky hair she took his head in her hands forcing him to look up. If her body had not been enough, her eyes were the confirmation Bill needed as he moved again and mounted her, Sookie reaching to guide him into her silky folds as they both gasped, so wonderful was the feeling for them both.

Everything was surreal as they lay not merely coupling, this was no make up sex, they were making love, they were compelled, they were destined, and they belonged. Each thrust was a breathless experience in itself, intense and filled with emotions neither had ever felt before, tears pouring from their eyes at the overpowering intensity, gasping at each movement, slow and lingering, increasing the need.

Sookie wrapped her legs around Bill in her desire and the sensation was ecstasy for them both, as he plunged deeper touching that unknown place of hidden joy. They were lost to everything but each others feelings flooding through the blood bond and the pleasure and joy of being whole again, being with each other.

Overcome, Bill broke the silence 'I've got to have you' nothing more, his words enough to send a spasm through Sookie. She turned her head, the artery in her neck pulsing in rhythm to her heart beat as Bill bit into her, her sweet blood coursing through him as she too broke his skin, lapping at him. Their blood coursing and mingling, shooting them into an explosion of orgasm, multiplied by the intensity of the other's feelings, almost too much to bear.

As they lay together arms wrapped around each other, still shaking from the experience, Bill watched as the bruise to Sookie's head quickly changed colour and faded away. Leaning over he softly kissed the place where it had been and stroked her face.

'You know that I didn't mean to hurt you Bill, it wasn't deliberate it just happened' tears filling Sookie's eyes, her words breaking into Bill's thoughts. 'Don't Sookie, we can talk about this later' he said solemnly. 'No Bill, that's the trouble and it's my fault, we never have talked about it, any of it. I never gave you a chance to explain. I was so angry and hurt but I promise you, I didn't go with Eric just to hurt you. I love you too much for that.'

Bill lay perfectly still. He had not expected to be having this conversation any time soon and definitely not tonight. He wasn't quite sure if it was the knock to her head or the brandy talking or shock or a combination of all three but it didn't matter to him. This wasn't some after sex small talk either. This was something that in the whole of their relationship together had not been said and needed to be said for them to move on. Whether that meant the end of things or a new beginning Bill did not know but he knew that for the first time in their relationship, Sookie was willing to listen. She had grown up.

Nothing would ever change the way that he felt about her and holding her now in his arms he was happy for the first time in a long time despite the circumstances that had bought this about, just to hold her again, to be this close to her, to talk to her and to listen to her. And, she had said that she loved him.

As the storm continued out side unabated, they lay comfortable in each other arms and laid their souls bare. They held back nothing, no matter how painful, they talked about it. Both of them shed the tears that had been held back for so long, unashamedly past hurts and grievances, all the bad times that had been stored up and caused so much pain, all laid bare.

Bill having learnt from the past, explained the whole sorry story of his mission to procure her, how a delay meeting her at Merlottes had made him late and what the consequences of falling in love with her had meant as far as having to protect her from Sophie Anne's interests and from Eric.

He told her of his involvement with Nan Flannigan and how he had come to be made King and of his involvement in her death and the predicament he was in now, fighting to keep his name cleared of any suspicion even though it was warranted. He also told her of his relationship with Katarina and Portia and how he had felt when she had gone without a trace and he had blamed himself, his guilt and his loneliness being the cloak he wore. It was a watershed and one that he desperately needed.

'Sookie I knew that Eric was there that night when I was on the porch and I don't blame you. I understand. I spared Eric because I knew that you were hurt and you needed to heal. If that was the only way you could, I understood' he said as she looked at him with respect. 'Sookie I love you. I always did and I always will. Nothing is ever going to change how I feel. I told you once before that I have never loved, nor will I ever love anyone as I have loved you. Like it or not, that is the whole truth, that is me Sookie, that is who I am' he said gently to her.

Sookie hung her head, slow tears trickled down her face then looking up she told him how she had felt, talking of her feelings of betrayal, how she had never coped with his Vampirism even though she of all people should know what it is like to be ostracized for being different. She relived moments that had tormented her at the time but now on reflection, she could see that they weren't as they seemed to be at the time, that Bill had actually tried as hard as he could to let her have her independence without it jeopardising her safety but each time she had ended up making things worse, then blamed him or Vampires or both for it.

She sat feeling the injustices that she had accused him of, and realised more and more as she went on that Bill had always been the one who had saved her from others and tried to save her from herself but selfishly, she had not been willing to give him the credit for it. Bill had talked of his guilt, now she was feeling shame for her part in the situation.

'Bill' she asked suddenly as though struck by a new thought 'what were you doing out in the woods near my place tonight?' He had been dreading the situation that he was in, all that previous evening he had mulled over the whole predicament and had been dreading what he saw as yet another confrontation between them with this never ending battle of Sookie's independence vs. her safety. But now, he no longer felt that way.

Pulling no punches, Bill told Sookie his fears for her, watching her closely as the glow from the firelight cast colours through her hair and gave her tanned body an ethereal glow. Sookie swallowed hard at the mention of Russell Edgington but did not look surprised at all when Bill had told her of Eric's omitted warning.

If he was expecting histrionics he was mistaken. Sookie took it all in her stride and sat thoughtfully thinking it through. 'I am so sorry Sookie' he said with so much sorrow that she could not but help reaching over and patting his face. 'Bill it's not your fault. I realise now that at lot of things that I had blamed you for are not your fault. You are Vampire and I am part Fae. It was not your choice or mine, it is just the way it is.'

'I want you to be safe, to live the kind of life that you deserve. I want you to have all the things that you want, to grow old with your grand children around you, just like Adele' he reminisced with his sorrow seeping through his voice. 'Bill, that is what I had always wanted but I know now that will never happen. That is not your fault, I am not human, I am part Fae. Just as it has been hard for you to come to terms with your Vampirism, all my life I too have fought with being different but now I understand. I will never be 'normal' and that is okay, I can live with it now whereas before, I couldn't and I think that to some extent I took it out on you.'

'And anyway, what is normal? Do we really know anyone in this crazy world that is normal? Bill, I have accepted that what I thought I wanted is just not possible. I have realised that throwing my life away for a dream that can't be is just plain dumb. I don't know why I couldn't see it before, I think that I was just in denial. All I want now is …..' Bill was studying her face as she spoke, hanging on her every word. 'All you want now is what Sookie?' he asked her softly.

She couldn't look at him. She turned her face away as tears oozed from her eyes. He reached over and took her face in his hand, turning her head so she had to face him, had to look into his eyes. She swallowed hard. 'What do you want Sookie, what would make you happy? If I can give it to you I will, that is all I have been existing for from the minute we met.'

She was choked with emotions, her heart was beating so fast that she thought she would explode. 'Bill I …' she couldn't say it, she couldn't expect it of him, not after the way she had treated him. She felt he deserved better and that she had relinquished any right to a claim on him now after what she saw as her betrayal of his heart.

'Sookie, look at me' he gently whispered to her. Instead she looked around and saw her pile of wet sodden clothes lying in a heap next to the mattress where Bill had dropped them in his haste to get her warm. Reaching over she pulled her jeans to her and fumbled in the pocket, pulling out a tiny silken purse. 'Sookie, what are you…' Bills words were cut short as he saw her take something out of the small piece of silk and taking his hand, she placed it in his palm.

'I have carried this with me since that night. No matter where or what I have been through it has been there with me' she said looking into his eyes. He looked down staring at his hand, unable to believe what she was telling him, unable to believe that all this time, through every thing that had happened, this was with her as he had always meant it to be.

She held out her left hand, trembling as she did so. Not taking his eyes from hers now, he picked up the tiny object and as he too trembled and placed it on her finger. The ring that he had so lovingly bought for her what seemed a life time ago, sparkled in the firelight as they sat, both in tears, looking into each others eyes.

'Are you sure Sookie, are you really sure?' he questioned with feeling. 'Bill I have never in my life been more sure of anything. The whole time we have been apart, even when I was so angry and so hurt…even when I was with Eric' her face blushing a deep red 'I never felt whole, never completed as I feel with you. It has taken me a long time to realise what was missing. No, I am not being honest there. It has taken me a long time to admit that the only time in my life I have ever felt totally accepted was with you.'

'I realised that even though I'm not, you made me feel normal. No one else has made me feel that way and no one else ever could. I know it is a lot to expect of you, I know that I don't even have the right to think that you could forgive me. I hurt you so many times, I will always regret it.'

'No Sookie, no don't feel like that. I have never stopped loving you and I never will. You bought me back to life and now' he gently fingered the ring on her hand 'now you are giving me a future that I had thought that I had lost forever. You talk of forgiveness, I have never been able to even ask you for yours. The hurt I saw on your face that night when you learnt part of the truth, it is burned into my memory and torments me. I can never expect forgiveness when I was the cause of so much pain.'

'Oh Bill, you asked me what would make me happy? You said if you could you would give it to me… this' she said holding up her hand, the ring on her finger flashing glittering sparks of colours through the air, 'this is what would make me happy and this is what I dream would make you happy too. I forgive you Bill Compton, will you forgive me?' she looked at him hopefully, the love in her eyes reflected in Bills. 'Always, I will always forgive you' he whispered into her mouth as he crushed her lips to his.

'Sookie, I've got to have you'…

~ Not the end but the beginning ~


End file.
